It’s letting all my thoughts Burn in fear Until that’s all I am Until I feel better And like that I’m 9 again Still woozy from the antiseptic waiting room Maroon seats, next to my mother Overhearing her later Tell my father what a placebo is And know they think I don’t understand That I’m a liar Because why would a boy Still, quite Have pain radiating from his sternum? Tired yet always sleeping Because it wasn’t a lie They put there About drugs Or if I’d been hit, beaten I tossed those pills away And learned not to trust…