An Evening With David Sedaris from the Mediocre Seats

I had the good luck and years of bad spending habits to get hugely inflated tickets to see David Sedaris’ reading at Paramount Theatre in Denver this last Friday.

Ticket prices and gouging is definitely in the top ten of my Annoying Things right now. They sell out in seconds and are then hugely priced (and profitable….) on apps or street corners. Seeing a band or attending an event requires SEAL Team Six level planning or at least budgeting.

I was not disappointed. The best part about attending live is the whole alive part. As with bands, I would eventually have the opportunely to experience most the material in a book or recording.

My favorite part of the evening was the questions at the end. The first I rolled my eyes out as someone blurted it, nervous and breathless from in front of me in Orchestra Left (note: these people and their good tickets and bravery at asking corny questions astonish me. Some people have it all…).

“What would you like to be remembered for?” they breathed.

David didn’t roll his eyes and was very kind, but did basically shrug for a few moments. “Well… not my writing…. My writing’s not going to change the world or anything.” He actually shrugged, his shoulders high and nearly comically expressive in his blazer, looked around while pondering and almost starting in on elaborating. The audience squirmed and chucked awkwardly, sympathy echoing from from those shy, queer growing up questions like “is there any special girl at school?” or “what do you want to be when you grow up” or something.

Then he said, “You know, a few months back I was at a reading…” Apparently, afterward a women, a representative of the governor of Kentucky, had come up and made the man an honorary Kentucky Colonel. Papers were signed, photos taken and a red tie bestowed along with the privilege of box luxury at the Kentucky Derby. It’s the highest honor the governor of Kentucky can give out, and not even in person!

“So yeah, I’d like it if my obituary mentioned that I’m a Kentucky Colonel.”

If that sad story unfolds, I know at the very least I will remember the Colonel fondly, inspired by the bestselling author’s modesty and humor.

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